Victoria NeuroNotes

Into the Gray

What If You Knew You Were A Mayfly And Only Had One Day To Live?


Would you still fly as far and as high as you could?

Would you fly further and higher than usual?

Or would you forget about your wings

sit on the water

head bowed

traumatized … ?

Would it be cruel to tell a mayfly that it only has one day to live?


What if you had not one day, but almost a whole century?

Would you fly further and higher than usual?

Or would you forget about your wings

sit on the water

head bowed

sufficiently traumatized

to invent religion?


(Excerpt above from the superb, educational video, Dust That Sings)

Fear of Life — Fear of Death

“Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.” ~ Irvin D. Yalom

According to existential psychologists, death anxiety comes from our general ability to anticipate the future, coupled with conscious anticipation of inevitable personal demise. Irvin D. Yalom, a professor of psychiatry at Standford University stated that as a general rule, the less one’s sense of life fulfillment, the greater one’s death anxiety.

Several neurological studies have demonstrated that neural stimulation, using repeated, low-intensity complex magnetic signals on both the left amygdala, (associated with positive effect, and the right hippocampus (associated with a positive cognitive style) will, over time, raise the baseline activity of these two structures, allowing a positive emotive and cognitive style for individuals. Cognitive style refers to the prefered way an individual processes information in their environment. They also found that death anxiety was attenuated, curtailed.

However, when the signals were applied over the right amygdala (associated with negative emotions, fear and anxiety), the usual result was dysphoria (a general dissatisfaction with life).

Magnetic neural stimulation is now being used in medical clinics for treatment-resistant major depressive disorder.


What should we think about death?

Watch this short (under 3 minutes) humanist animation about death, afterlife, and living in the here and now.


For those who have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to watching videos, I took the effort to write it out for you.  YW. 😛 😀


“One thing that we can be sure of is that we will die. Everyone will.

Some people don’t like the thought of this and don’t accept it.

They prefer to think that death is not the end of us—that we might live on Earth or another place where people are rewarded or punished.

But wanting something to be true is not the same as it being true. And there is no evidence to support the idea that our minds could support the end of our bodies.

What sense could we make of the things that we value—love, experience, communication, achievements, the warmth of the sun on our face—if we were disembodied?

And if life were eternal, wouldn’t it lose much of what gives it shape, structure, meaning and purpose?

Think about reading a good book, or eating a delicious cake. These may be great pleasures, but one of the things that makes these things great pleasures is that they come to an end. A book that went on forever, and a cake that you never stopped eating would both soon lose their appeal.

Death is a natural part of life.

It makes sense for us to try not to be afraid of this but, instead, to come to terms with it. Then we can find purpose and meaning in the here and now making the most of the one life we know we have, and helping others to do the same, choosing good over evil without the expectation of reward in some other place.

When we do die, we will live on in the work we have done and in the memories of people whose lives we’ve been part of.  Our bodies will break up and become part again of the cycle of nature. The atoms that form us now will go on to form other things—trees and birds, flowers and butterflies.

That’s humanism!”

Death Anxiety header 2



Author: NeuroNotes

Victoria predominately blogs about religion, and the brain's role in religious type experiences.

64 thoughts on “What If You Knew You Were A Mayfly And Only Had One Day To Live?

  1. Life and Death should be living/lived hand-in-hand… in a danse macarbres where “skeletons”, dear friends, family, and youthful children are all quite familiar with each other. All dancers dance with the skeletons and the living, equally! The two paradoxes ACTUALLY coelesce… and thus gift more beauty, more dignity to both!

    I liked this post Victoria! Thank you! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Another superb post, Victoria.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I don’t fear my death so much …. rather look forward to it on some days. I fear the death of others in accidents and tragedies and war and all that bad stuff. Read about it every day and think .. there but for the grace of something or other there go I. But that is reality and we deal with it. But it’s the way we deal with it is the difference. I think grief is natural and a good thing. But to be comforted in thinking that there is another life somewhere with all the wings and trimmings would be enough to say…..I’m not dying. lol

    I liked the video. 🙂

    But I am starting to worry about one thing. The thought of my blog living on forever and ever and ever……. 😦 I need to start making plans.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Well, you KNOW I listened to the video – I adore Stephen Fry, even if it’s only his voice!

    A great video with much wisdom. So true! Of course, I KNOW I’ll live on in the stories told by my children. They’ll go something like this, “That MUM!! Remember when she said. . . ” There’ll be lots of colourful ones to choose from. . . . 🙂

    Another post with punch, Victoria!!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Great quote from Swarn.

    I hope Terror Management enjoys a bigger stage in this next decade. The challenge facing humanism this century is, of course, to present an emotionally satisfying and practical alternative to religion.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. It really was a lovely video and your information was enlightening as always.
    It’s funny. It is a fact that I will die. I know it and it doesn’t make me feel as creepy as it once did, but I’m not sure it actually feels like a fact. Knowing it will happen doesn’t make it feel any more real. Perhaps it will as I age or if I am faced with a long sickness. I don’t think it has to feel real though. After all, once it is real, I won’t be around to experience the reality of it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Madalyn, I think what you shared makes perfect sense. Also, the studies show that the older people get, the less death anxiety they tend to have. This is primarily due to what is called “ego integrity”, which is primarily about embracing your journey, no matter how dearly you paid, and not being overcome with regrets.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I couldn’t watch the video because I’m on a *gasp* limited plan and have been throttled. I did read all you wrote, though, and I concur with everyone else. This is an excellent post. Where can I get me some of those magnets? Not for me. Not for me. For…someone else.

    The funny thing is I had more death anxiety when I was a Christian. I thought about death a lot. Sure, sometimes I pictured myself ruling the afterlife with Christ. Why I don’t know. I don’t think women get to rule anything. But I didn’t picture myself as a woman. Weird. And just what I’d be ruling I don’t know, either. But I’d be a ruler.

    More often, though, I was afraid that I’d be sent away as one Jesus never knew. Or that I’d be a big fat disappointment because I wouldn’t have many crowns to lay at Jesus’ feet. That I wasn’t doing it well enough here.

    I’ve seen my share of death already. I’ve lost all my grandparents, both my parents, most recently my father-in-law, and more than a couple of friends. But I don’t think about death all that much. In fact, I don’t think about death at all anymore.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Ruth, I was just having a little fun with Kate and her aversion to watching videos. She’s fussed at me a few times because I often post videos.

      “The funny thing is I had more death anxiety when I was a Christian.

      I can totally relate. I’m sure you are familiar with the scripture that says if we don’t witness, and “warn” people, that their blood will be on our hands.

      “When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. Ezekiel 3:18

      Talk about a mindfuck. Being “wicked” could mean they (including your loved ones) weren’t a “True Christian™”, didn’t belong to the “right” sect of Christianity. That was reinforced in me by the time I was 6 by Catholic nuns and priests. Then I discovered, after becoming a protestant, that not much had changed in this belief.

      I do think about death from time to time. But I have a more positive outlook about it now.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My father-in-law passed away recently, as I mentioned, and we will be flying to England for the funeral next week. It didn’t occur to me until you did this post, but I haven’t once thought about whether or not he was saved; whether or not he’s in heaven or hell. I’ve just reflected on the life he has had and the lives he has touched here.

        What a relief!

        Liked by 2 people

        • “but I haven’t once thought about whether or not he was saved; whether or not he’s in heaven or hell. I’ve just reflected on the life he has had and the lives he has touched here.

          A relief indeed. I don’t know if I ever mentioned this to you in conversation, but not long after my partner died, I was tormented by thoughts that god was going to test my faith again by allowing my infant daughter to die. I had nightmares, too. The bible is full of this “testing faith” teachings, and certainly preached often in the pulpits. Then, when she was 18 months, she almost died from double pneumonia. How we managed to survive religion is beyond me. I experienced my share of trials, but like you, it was not trials that caused me to leave Christianity, but rather, knowledge.

          My condolences to your partner and family. Safe travels. *hug*


  8. Humanism is you writing the transcript of the video.
    I don’t want to die, at least not now, there are a few things I got to do

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great philosophy about life. Death is something more welcomed now that I’m older, but no more anticipated.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. When I was becoming a physician, and was taught obstetrics, pediatrics and geriatrics, I was struck by the fact that culturally we celebrate “the new” beginnings and fear the the last portion of life. We should look upon the completion of a full life to be cherished and celebrated as a race we’ll run. c

    Liked by 4 people

  11. I don’t believe in kismet or divine intervention anymore, but finding this post this morning was timely. An hour ago I received a call that my teenage nephew was found dead in his bed by my brother. I haven’t been particularly close to this kid, haven’t seen him in months. Yet I feel a sense of loss.

    No one could have anticipated this. Or could they? His life wasn’t on an upward track. He was a troubled young man with mental and substance issues. Was this intentional? Was it accidental? Was it drugs? How else does an 18 year old healthy male die at home in the middle of the night? I don’t know what happened; my brain craves answers but it is too soon to call, as the authorities are still working the case.

    His death will leave a gap for the ones who loved him most and who tried to help him. I think of my sister-in-law, who will forever be haunted by the fact that her baby died one room away in the middle of the night while she slept and she didn’t know and couldn’t help and now it is too late. On the other hand, she has bent over backwards for years trying to help this kid, to much heartbreak and no avail. I think of my brother, who woke to start another routine workday, the last day before the weekend, and then saw routine explode with a sucker punch to the gut. On the other hand, this kid caused him no end of trouble, created problems in his marriage, and cost him a small fortune in treatments and court fees and damaged vehicles. I am truly sad that this kid is gone, that any potential he had is unrealized forever. On the other hand, while he was breathing and eating and moving through the world, he was moving in a fog and not truly living.

    Death is sad and tragic. My mom grieved on the phone as she told me the news, stating if he had known Christ he would have been able to deal with his troubles, that no problem and no addiction and no depression is stronger than the presence of god, that if only his mom had raised him in a Christian home things would have been different. I was raised in a Christian home and struggled with depression and come close to suicide WHILE i was a Christian, and I know that is bullshit. I was not able to offer her solace or agree with her or pray a prayer. It made me feel very helpless. It also made me realize that, regardless of what we believe, we ARE helpless when it comes to death and loss, and the only thing we can truly rely on to get through hard times is each other.

    I am still a closet non-believer in the midst of a very Christian family, and I am selfishly thinking of just how difficult this funeral is going to be for me. Feeling and thinking this way makes me feel like a heartless bitch, even though I know I am a caring and warm human being. I don’t know where I am going with this…. I am confused and sad… and I guess I just needed a safe place to bare my soul. Or whatever you call that thing that makes me “me”…. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Share away, my friend, and thank you for opening up so personally. I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I can imagine the confusion everyone is having in your family. I can relate to the confusion after my late husband committed suicide in his late 20’s, and yes, he was a very devout Christian. Not long ago one of my nephew’s college roommates died in his sleep, in the dorm. He was 20 years old. It shook the community, and of course his family was profoundly confused.

      I think it’s always harder to embrace death when it happens to someone who is young. Before I go on, I just want to clarify (in case it needs to be) that I wasn’t suggesting that we shouldn’t grieve when someone dies, nor was I making lite of death — that’s not what this post is about.

      But, in saying that, I think losing a loved one can be a major culprit of death anxiety, not so much becoming aware of our own mortality, but wanting to see our friends and loved ones again in an afterlife. I can understand why denial of finitude helps people cope. Yet, in the same vein, people who assume there’s an afterlife may not take the life we have now as seriously—ever thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, and living for the future, not in the hear and now.

      Skirt, your sister-in-law may experience a lot of guilt — “what could I have done differently—did I do enough”. I did after my husband died. I also experienced a lot of guilt because there was a part of me that was relieved that I no longer had to deal with his behavior—he had become quite hyper-religious. I didn’t know at the time what was causing this, even though Christian leadership claimed to have all the answers. It took me years to find answers—to find peace and resolve.

      I don’t think you are being selfish—especially considering your circumstances. Also, I hope you don’t mind me giving some unsolicited advice, but I would recommend your brother, sister-in-law and family seek some counseling, and a grief group for support.

      My deepest condolences to you and your family.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks as always, Victoria, and I’m sorry for your loss as well. I know my vent wasn’t actually in line with your post, but after I read it, my consciousness started streaming out of control! I talked with my brother; he said it looks like the kid just gave up. For years he hasn’t felt like his life was worth living. It appears in trying to escape via drugs, he got unlucky and escaped past the point of return. I’m not sure if someone told him “You get 18 years and 11 months to live, make the best of it” that he would have done anything different. But so many people related to him are beating their chests right now in Christian grief, wondering what they could have done differently, what more could have been said or bought or offered, and afraid of where he is now. All of this is pointless. On his bad days, he was destructive and disrespectful and useless. On his good days, he was adorable and funny and loving. He had a chance at life. He chose not to take and now he’s dead. Thems the facts. There is no point being fearful or anxious about any of it. My mom said I should drop everything and drive 3 hours to grieve with my brother. But my brother gets it. He told me, “You have a life and responsibility there. I know you love me, nothing you can do here, I’ve got this. Besides, it’s raining. Stay and take care of your family, I’ll call if I need you, and see you soon enough.” I love that guy. One day, like the yummy cake or the mayfly, he and I will be gone. All that will be left of us are memories and the love we sowed around us. I can live (and die) with that.


        • What an incredible brother you have. You know, the sad thing about your nephew is that there was clearly some neurological problem that had not been found. For example, I have read study after study on traumatic brain injuries that were not diagnosed or misdiagnosed during childhood, even adulthood. The symptoms may not show up for years, even decades, and may result in antisocial behavior and/or substance abuse.

          TBI is the leading cause of death and injury in children, and one doesn’t have to be knocked unconscious. It could happen simply by tossing a child in the air, and catching him during play. Like you mentioned, he was apparently trying to numb himself. That is a tragedy. No god, no religion can help someone in this regard. I know from personal experiences with my partner. It only makes it worse.


          Liked by 1 person

  12. When you mentioned mayflies, what popped into my mind was Terry Pratchett’s version of mayfly conversation (from Reaper Man):
    “The sun was near the horizon. The shortest lived creatures on the disk were mayflies, which barely made it through twenty-four hours. Two of the oldest zigzagged aimlessly over the waters of a trout stream, discussing history with some of the younger members of the evening hatching.
    “You don’t get the kind of sun that you used to get.” said one of them.
    “You’re right there. We had proper sun in the good old hours. It were all yellow. None of this red stuff.”
    “It were higher, too.”
    “It was. You’re right.”
    “And nymphs and larvea showed you a bit of respect.”
    “They did. They did.” said the other mayfly vehemently.
    “I reckon, if mayflies these hours behaved a bit better, we’d still be having a proper sun.”
    The younger mayflies listened politely.
    “I remember,” said one of the oldest mayflies, “when all this was fields, as far as you could see.”
    The younger mayflies looked around.
    “It’s still fields,” one of them ventured, after a polite interval.
    “I remember when it was better fields,” said the old mayfly sharply.
    “Yeah,” said his colleague. “And there was a cow.”
    “That’s right! You’re right! I remember that cow! Stood right over there for, oh, forty, fifty minutes. It was brown, as I recall.”
    “You don’t get cows like that these hours.”
    “You don’t get cows at all.”
    “What’s a cow?” said one of the hatchlings.
    “See?” said the oldest mayfly triumphantly. “That’s modern Ephemeroptera for you.”

    Liked by 4 people

  13. I’ve learned not to anticipate my own emotional responses Victoria, as what occurs in the nervous system seldomly matches accurately what was thought of prior to their occurrence. It’s dying rather than death itself that people fear I think, a process occurring naturally in and as life of course. One could fear an imagined cosmological hell of course, but nothingness? For anyone fearing the dying process, I would advise steering well clear of Sherwin B. Nuland’s book ‘How we die’, religious or no!

    Liked by 4 people

    • I agree that most, if not all, people have a fear of dying — suffering. You know, it’s interesting that you mentioned “nothingness”. When I was a small child, between the ages of 4 and 10, I had a great fear of nothingness. I viewed nothingness as being conscious of my non-existence, while the world went on.


  14. Wonderful post! Very good questions to ponder. Maybe especially for me because the last two days I’v attended no less than two funerals. God doesn’t seem to like me or my friends. But I don’t like Him. So actually I can understand God. Being questioned all the time, by me and my friends, can’t be fun for a divine being. As a matter of fact, if I were God, I too would have been vengeful and pissed off.

    Liked by 1 person

    • BB, I don’t like traditional funerals, and I’m sorry for your loss, if those funerals you attended were family members and/or friends. Feel free to send me an email if you ever want to vent, but don’t want to do it publicly. It’s listed in my gravatar.


  15. I hadn’t ever really thought much about humanism, certainly not bothering to define it, but that all sounds perfect, right up my alley. Thank you for posting this and shining a little light in my world today 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. The topic of death and religion is rather fascinating, don’t you think? Your post reminded me of those billboard images that Zoe has been posting. While they portray the zombies as those who are “without Jesus,” I tend to think they are more like what the normal person would be if they were to “go to heaven” — you know, as the video said … “disembodied.”


    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I do think this topic is fascinating, and I wished there were more discussions about death. I remember trying to have a discussion about death with my ex-husband, before were divorced, and he got all creeped out about it, as though talking about death would someone make it happen sooner.

      Those billboards that Zoe has been posting, from Ohio, boggle my mind. I thought the ones here in the South were bad enough, but wow, can’t say that I’ve ever seen a Christian billboard, associating non-believers with zombies. As far as being disembodied, I remember when I was a Christian, we were taught that Christians would be given “new and improved” bodies. 2 Corinthians 5:1-5.


  17. Victoria, that you so much for posting this video. My young son (age 4) has been asking questions about death since one of our budgies died, and without my christian ideology to fall back on, I’ve been struggling to find appropriate answers. Videos I’ve found online geared for atheist children have been been lacking in various aspects; he has heard the christian view of heaven, so not addressing that point at all only serves to confuse him. He would not understand this particular video yet either, but it does give me some good words to use to start describing death to him (cycle of nature, etc), and how some people believe differently about an afterlife.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Violet, I’m so glad you liked this video—that it can be a helpful tool when discussing death with your son. In one of Phil Hellenes videos (you probably saw it — Science Saved My Soul), he says “Stars must die so I can live. I stepped out of a supernova, and so did you.” I love that. By the same token, we can also say, we must die so others can live.

      I remember a conversation between Larry King and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Tyson explains why he doesn’t fear death, and why he doesn’t want to live forever. This is my philosophy, too, and that of humanism.

      (Under 2 minutes)

      “Be ashamed to die until you have scored some victory for humanity.” ~ Horace Mann

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry to hear about the budgie, but even in Christian circles the death of pets is a tricky topic.

      Do pets go to heaven? The Church never really knew how to deal with that one.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The catholic church knew how to deal with that topic. NO pets (and NO teddies) in heaven. Ever. Because they had no souls. This had always given me major issues.

        We still have one budgie with us, named Nemo. It was his wife, Luna, who died last year, and my kid has never quite gotten over it. My hubs, in a bit of a panic, originally told our son Luna was returned to the pet store; this did not go over well cuz my son wanted to go to the store to retrieve her (of course). Then we admitted she died, but he didn’t understand what that meant (he’s 4). At this point we have so completely botched the “death talk” my kid will probably never be right in the head again.


  18. Thanks for the transcribe 😉

    For the vidilliterate 🙂

    A day to live? Spend it with my mate, like every other day. What better?

    Ambitions and desires arent always fulfilled, but sometimes there is a different sense of just being there.

    Death happens. So be it.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Kate said it so well. “Death happens”. We all should get over it and live in the now. Sometimes not so easy but it can be done.

    Death is part of life and not something we like, especially if we are the ones left behind. I think that’s the worst. Also, dying peacefully is something I would like. I held my mother in my arms when she died from cancer. She had lots of pain for a year. It’s not fair that anyone should go through that kind of pain. Death then comes as a release.

    Great post as always. 😀 ♥

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sonel, I’m so sorry about your loss, and the suffering both you and your mother endured. I agree that no one should go through that kind of suffering, which is why I am in full support of people having the right to die with dignity. We’ve both been on both sides of the fence with regard to viewing life through the lens of a believer and nonbeliever. A new perspective emerges when you realize that this may be the only life you get.

      Thanks for the kudos, and I hope you’re having a lovely weekend thus far. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thanks Victoria and I feel the same. My family knows if I should end up having cancer, I don’t want any treatment and if it gets to the point that I can’t walk or take care of myself and are in too much pain, a big dose of morphine would be all I want.

        Indeed we have and yes, this is the only life we do get and sometimes it sucks. At this stage I am grieving for my little man. He is still with us but had him at the vet and they gave him meds that doesn’t work so well with him. I am furious with them because I don’t want him to suffer. They couldn’t really find out what was wrong, except for old age and gave me antibiotics and Petcam. Both upset his tummy and now he doesn’t want to eat or drink, which he did well before he had the meds. So yeah, not a good weekend for me this side and sorry for packing off on you, but I know you will understand.

        Anyways, you have a good weekend darling. Take care. 😀 ♥

        Liked by 1 person

  20. After googling myself I found that I was quoted here. But actually my advisor said this, and not me. I thank you anyway. He was a kind man.

    Seriously though, it is nice to be quoted. The fact that somebody thinks you said anything well enough to be repeated is always appreciated. 🙂

    I was just commenting on a friend’s facebook post, who is not religious but more into the sort of spiritual, new age stuff, who was talking about her death anxiety. I expressed many of things you did about how we are part of something bigger, based on the molecules that make us up go long into my past to stars that don’t even exist anymore, and that my organic material may be the source of life in the future. It’s an absolutely beautiful thought to me and does give me some peace. I don’t fear death, but it will be a major inconvenience to my life. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • “After googling myself I found that I was quoted here. But actually my advisor said this, and not me. I thank you anyway. He was a kind man.”


      Swarn, your last comment was just awesome. It’s an absolutely beautiful thought to me, too, and yes, gives me much peace. I was reminded of this, which gives me goosebumps every time I watch/listen to it.

      “The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years they collapsed and then exploded scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself.

      These ingredients become part of gas cloud that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems stars with orbiting planets, and those planets now have the ingredients for life itself. So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us.

      When I reflect on that fact, I look up – many people feel small because they’re small and the Universe is big – but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of connectivity. That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant you want to feel like you’re a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive.”

      ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson


  21. wrong thread i know, but would you be able to visit and lend us your insights on the psychological and possible hallucinogenic effects of fasting for a discussion we are having? thx. i miss seeing your posts. -KIA

    Liked by 1 person

  22. am relieved to know there is no hell…;) jokes apart. yet another awesome post vi. this reminds me of a conversation I had with my family as a kid. one fine day my father asked , are you scared of ghost?? the question was for me and my 3 sibblings. While each one said they are not I wondered how?? after all those scary movies we watched. at my turn I honestly said I know there are no ghosts yet am scared of them. we all know life after death is imaginary yet we want to believe it. for our convenience??
    This post is an eye opener


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