Victoria NeuroNotes

Into the Gray

Reality Vs Anti-Life


As many may have noticed, I’ve been away for a while and the hiatus was necessary. My brother was quite ill over the last two years and that played a major role in my sudden disappearance in the blogosphere and elsewhere.

Watching my brother come so close to death was difficult. He was suffering, and there was a feeling of helplessness. All I could do was be there for him. I did feel a bit overwhelmed and sometimes experienced short bouts of situational depression, but his illness wasn’t the only cause. Disengaging close to 2 years from social media, i.e., Facebook, where so much fear-based news flooded my feed, was necessary and beneficial.

With that said, I’m happy to announce that my brother is in remission. 🙂

During this dark period of uncertainty, I was mindful that this is reality. Hardships are a part of being alive. Death is a part of life. I didn’t say “if he dies, he’ll be with the Lord and I’ll see him again someday.”

I didn’t disconnect from reality in that respect as I don’t hold beliefs such as immortality and an afterlife.

However, I gained a new perspective during this time. I accepted my current situation (unrelated to my brother’s illness) and made peace with it.

Yesterday, I was doing my daily search for educational videos, when I ran across this one below. It’s newly released.

I’ve added a few excerpts, but I hope you’ll take the time to watch it, because it doesn’t just address the impact that death anxiety can have on behavior (or society), and cites eye-opening studies. Below is an excerpt.

“Life is a series of facts. Life is what it is. We’ve evolved a certain way. Reality is what it is. Our fear of death is probably the greatest influence in our behavior. Throughout history, we are the only animal that’s conscious of our mortality and it’s causing an incredible reaction.

We’re avoiding.

We’re anxious.

We create an afterlife—a heaven . . . we have no confrontation with death, completely disconnected with it . . . and that controls everything about our behavior. So the ability to accept death and look it square in the eye—accept this is your reality—that you’re not going to live forever—is very liberating.

Everyone you love is going to die.

The perfect partner doesn’t exist.

Everything ends. That’s what gives life meaning.

Be romantic about the small things.

Be a realist about the big things.


Excuse the click-baitish title of the video. The content was fairly well done and informative, IMO.




Author: NeuroNotes

Victoria predominately blogs about religion, the psychological techniques used to indoctrinate, and the brain's role in religious-type experiences and attachment.

36 thoughts on “Reality Vs Anti-Life

  1. So good to see you posting again! And yes, social media platforms are a monster.

    Avoiding death. It’s why if I had a time machine one of the first things (if not the first thing) I’d use it for was to go back some 100,000 years and watch the events around the first Palaeolithic burial with grave goods. Quite a moment.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. It’s so good to here from you again, Victoria!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Smart phone = preconditioning the receptors to non reality. Living life through someone else’s videos too. Facebook algorithms share news and products based on your likes and shares also , not wanting to upset people, and are creating more tribalism. They considered abdislike button for a while but it’s easier to form alliances based on likes, even liking something distasteful. And fake news? Uncensored and is now the vast majority thanks to it.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Welcome back, Victoria – so good to ‘see’ you!! You’ve been missed.
    Loved the excerpt you shared and there’s much wisdom there. I’ve been to three funerals in the last two weeks and, believe me, there’s truth to that line, “Everything ends.” One of our ‘quilting ladies’ passed (63) and it was difficult. So terribly sad and she just wanted to live. When we gathered outside the funeral home, a friend said to me, “Buy that fabric!”
    All one can do is try to enjoy what one has and appreciate loved ones and friends. It sounds like you’ve decided just that. :). Xx

    Liked by 6 people

    • “All one can do is try to enjoy what one has and appreciate loved ones and friends. It sounds like you’ve decided just that.”

      Exactly. Thank you for the warm welcome back. I’ve missed you, too, Carmen, and others here who have grown dear to me. I am fortunate in many ways, and this past year has been quite transformative for me.


      Liked by 4 people

  5. Breaks can be great! I’m on one now myself. After a friend of mine died last year I set myself the task to figure out a system to make living bearable. Re-configuring one’s thought processes isn’t an easy thing to do 🙂
    Welcome back!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you, Pink.

      I’m sorry for your loss. I agree that re-configuring one’s thought processes isn’t an easy thing to do. I’m here for you if you ever need an ear or shoulder. Goodness knows, you’ve been there for me, for which I’m grateful. 🤗

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Welcome back!!! I have no social media accounts except WP. Can’t stand ’em. I MUST have WP, though, as a condition of my self-awarded Nobel Prize. I’d take it away from myself if I didn’t have a place to brag about it. 🙂 $Amen$

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you, Jeff. It’s good to be back, and I agree with your assertion about WP. Nothing else compares. However, there’s been a lot of changes since I’ve been away (don’t fix something that isn’t broke) so I’m experiencing some bugs.

      I’ve missed your off-the-wall humor. 😄

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Things in blog world will get a bit brighter now … 🙂 Welcome back!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Great to see you again. I have had some things to deal with myself of late, I do feel for the ordeal you have been through. I am very pleased to hear of the remission.

    Hope to see more of you soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I feel like the odd one out here. I wasn’t active on WP much (outside of the Christian section) when you were on here before so I’m just now meeting you this time around. So…hello and welcome back. I look forward to hearing more of what you have to share here.

    It took me a while to get here where the “heathens” lurk, but I’m now where I belong, amonsgt friends. It’s very nice to meet you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s nice to meet you too, Ben. WP, or rather the people on WP have richly enhanced my life. I’ve read several of your comments since I’ve been back and I could relate to them on a deep level. I look forward to getting to know you better as I read more of your posts and comments. Thank you for stopping by and for the warm welcome back. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Great to have you back, V.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Welcome back, I wondered where you had gone, and best wishes for your brother.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Absolutely wonderful news about your brother and his remission.
    Much respect to him for staying so strong and fighting.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Victoria,
    Your new pic is gorgeous, by the way. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Hello, Victoria. Interesting title. It seems anti-life might be the feeling one gets when conjuring up an afterlife? Praying to end this one in order to get on with the next. Anyway, early childhood development is an interest of mine, attachment, the paucity of parenting skills, et al. In recent times I have been checking out what I believe and why, and now I’m in hope of meeting many who are also of the firm belief that there is just one life, not two. I am looking forward to more of your thoughts. GROG

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi GROG, thanks for commenting and welcome.

      “It seems anti-life might be the feeling one gets when conjuring up an afterlife?”

      Absolutely. I have found that the more religious people are the more anti-life they come across and their negativity bias seems as though it;s on steroids. Here’s a good example of sculpting children’s brains to be anti-life and causing toxic stress. You’ve probably seen it, but it drives home the anti-life point. It’s what Christianity’s foundational message is. (4 min.)

      I am also interested in early childhood development and have done a fair amount of research (and advocacy) on the subject over the last 10+ years. Attachment does play a key role in brain development and behavior. I have found a wealth of information on *Center for the Developing Child – Harvard University*.

      They also address the importance of parenting education and skills.

      Here’s a Harvard video (5 min.) describing the need to focus on building the capabilities of caregivers and strengthening the communities that together form the environment of relationships essential to children’s lifelong learning, health, and behavior. In the info box directly on YT you can find Part 2, which goes into more detail about what these skills are, why they are important, how they develop, and how they are affected by stress.

      Liked by 2 people

      • thanks for the links. For a more mundane source, check out Peter Gerlach on YT. Another is Gabor Mate, a Canadian therapist. He has a book “Holding on to your kids” about how kids these days get more cues from peers than from parents. I’ve found a lot of benefit looking back. A lot of insight into why I’m the crank that I am. GROG

        Liked by 2 people

        • I’m quite familiar with Maté’s work, but haven’t read the book you mentioned. He has talked about it in some of his lectures and interviews. I’ll check out Gerlach’s channel. Thanks. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • Gerlach is a former therapist. He has many videos. How we are raised in early childhood is crucial. Parents are not knowledgeable. One thing that he is big on is teaching a child awareness. A child should learn to look beyond what is apparent, and be shown how to handle stress. A parent’s emotional state is also transferred to the child. I think my mother was under great stress when I was born. She had lost three babies before me, all boys. Her sister was popping out kids too, but all of her’s survived. Mom may have been hoping for a girl? grog

            Liked by 1 person

  15. Two things, Victoria…
    1) It is deeply heartening to know that intelligent and sensitive people like you exist.
    2) “Be romantic about the small things.” & “Be a realist about the big things.” WOW!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Two things, Frank…

    1) Wow! Thank you. 🤗 It’s been a pleasure getting to know you better. You have my utmost respect.
    2) WOW!, indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

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